Halloween is not Bandit’s favorite holiday, but not for the reasons you’d think. Sure, you’d think it’s because hordes of alien goblins and Lady Gagas ring the doorbell and he must go into involuntary hiding, but that’s not the case.

Very few aliens and even fewer Gagas ring our doorbell on Halloween because we live on a country lane. The little goblins can collect much more, in a shorter period of time, in town. Still, we buy way too many Kit Kats and Twix and still, they magically disappear within days of said holiday. Spooky isn’t it? Spookier still, the same thing happens at Christmas. Where they go, nobody knows……

Sorry, but like Bandit, I digress. Bandit is used to sharing our spoils, everything from Tri-tip to carrots. He loves it all. The thing is, chocolate is bad for dogs so he can’t have any. He doesn’t understand and pretty much goes into pout mode because we won’t share. He tries drama dog, he jumps up into Steve’s lap and even brings us his beloved Froggy for trade, all to no avail.

To make matters worse, his mom might try to dress him up for fun. Just sayin.

The worst affront to his Royal Highness is that when some goblins actually do show up, he is banished to the back bedroom. It’s not because he might run out the front door, although he might. It’s not because he’s scared, he’s not. It’s because he doesn’t know them and won’t stop jumping up and down and barking to tell us all about it.

When the neighbor girls show up, unrecognizable in matching, scary Gaga attire, he puts his ears up and wags his tail. Bandit is not at all fooled by their Gaga masks and fake meat dresses. He doesn’t know it’s Halloween or that they look scary weird.

He must have x-ray vision because he sees right through their masks and costumes, which are so good they might fool the average human being. But Bandit isn’t an average human being, he sees inside and doesn’t do the mask thing.

Be safe and be happy this Halloween, K?


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